🚗 The Worst Modern Car Features

July 2, 2025

👋 Intro: Modern Cars Are Evolving… Just in the Wrong Direction

If you've ever sat in a brand new car and thought, “Why does this feel like a touchscreen fridge with wheels?” — you're not alone. Modern manufacturers are packing in “features” that feel less like upgrades and more like punishments.

In this blog, we’re breaking down the worst modern car features, ranked tier-style — from mildly annoying to outright boycott-worthy. Inspired by a hilarious and on-point video from Jimmy Drives, this breakdown covers it all: fake engine noise, digital-only dashboards, auto start-stop rage, and those trucks with grill faces like Thanos.

Let’s get into it.

🟩 OK Tier: Not Terrible, But Still Kinda Meh

🧠 Active Forward Collision Warning (FCW)

Let’s give credit where it’s due. FCW (aka automatic emergency braking) has likely saved lives and prevented accidents, even if it yells at you when a shopping cart is 20 feet away.

✅ You can usually disable it.
✅ It’s probably saved someone’s bumper.
❌ Sometimes triggers panic mode when you're in complete control.

💡 Better safe than sorry — this one just squeaks by into the “OK” tier.

🟨 Not Ideal Tier: The Features Nobody Asked For

🔊 Piped-In Engine Noise

Let’s make one thing clear: if it’s not coming from the engine, it’s not real noise. Simulated revving through your speakers? Who exactly is this fooling?

Common in EVs and some newer gas cars.
Sounds like a Need for Speed mod from 2005.
If we wanted fake sound, we’d just YouTube it.

🛑 It’s not the worst offender, but it’s embarrassingly unnecessary.

🕹️ Electronic Handbrakes

Remember the satisfying click-click of a proper handbrake? Now it’s a tiny switch that feels like a Bluetooth volume knob.

The main issue: what happens during an electrical failure?
Manual handbrakes give you backup control in an emergency.
There’s something mechanically honest about a real handbrake.

⚖️ Verdict: Could be safer on paper… but just feels wrong.

🟥 Rage Bait Tier: These Features Exist to Troll Us

🧪 Drive Modes (Too Many)

Eco mode? Cool. Sport mode? Fine.
But when cars start offering “Cactus Mode,” “Snow Grass Mode,” or “Nap Time Mode” — we’ve officially lost the plot.

Nobody uses half these settings.
Sales gimmick 101.
You’re not racing on the Nürburgring in your mom’s SUV.

🧠 Drive modes have gone from helpful to straight-up clownish.

🛑 Active Lane Keep

A great idea in theory. In practice? Feels like your car’s trying to override your judgment.

Tries to steer back into potholes, construction zones, or cyclists.
Works against you when you actually need control.
Let me swerve like a responsible adult, please.

🤬 This isn’t lane assist — it’s lane resist.

🐽 Massive Grilles

BMW and Toyota are in a contest to see who can make your car’s face look more like a Dyson vacuum.

Huge grilles on EVs = zero functionality.
Once-beautiful designs now look like warthogs.
The older BMWs had classy lines — now it’s just mouth.

💥 Pure rage bait. These need to go back to the sketchpad.

🛑 This Needs to Stop Tier: Manufacturers, We’re Begging

⛽ Auto Start-Stop

Nothing makes you feel more like a hostage than your car deciding to turn off at a red light.

Saves maybe 0.002 cents of gas.
Turns off when you don’t want it to.
Can’t be permanently disabled on many cars.

🛑 Just let us turn it off forever. Or at least warn us before our engine dies mid-turn.

🧼 Everything on a Screen

You want to adjust your A/C? Open a menu.
Change your mirrors? Swipe.
Turn on your headlights? Good luck.

Buttons are disappearing.
Screens look cool, but they age horribly.
Future breakdowns will feel like bricking your iPhone.

⚰️ If one screen goes bad, the entire car could be toast.
This isn’t innovation — it’s iPad on wheels syndrome.

🛑 Boycott Tier: Get These OUT of Cars Immediately

🌅 Overly Bright Headlights

Why are low beams now brighter than stadium lighting? Trucks and Teslas are out here hitting people with 10,000 lumens at face level.

Sitting in a sedan? You’re toast.
Night driving = full sensory overload.
Safety hazard for everyone.

🚨 This isn’t “seeing better” — it’s blinding others. 100% boycott-worthy.

🛻 Overly Big Factory Trucks

If you’re not hauling gravel or towing a boat, what are you doing in an F350 with showroom paint and zero dirt?

They're too tall for city streets.
Hood lines block visibility of pedestrians.
No truck bed usage = poser status.

🧍 You shouldn’t need a ladder to check your oil. These things are a danger in cities — and it’s time we call them out.

🧠 Quick Takeaways for Gearheads

✅ Real engine noise > fake
✅ Give us physical buttons back
✅ Drive modes should enhance, not overwhelm
✅ Bright headlights = less safety, not more
✅ Big trucks ≠ big personality

🏁 Outro: The Future of Cars Needs a Tune-Up

Modern cars might look flashier than ever, but some of these “upgrades” feel like design decisions made by committee — not drivers. At the end of the day, we’re here for cars that feel fun, functional, and honest.

So if you’re with us — keep pushing for smarter features, better design, and the right to disable auto start-stop once and for all.

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